It’s a familiar scenario for any skateboarder: you’re locked in a battle with a trick, and the frustration starts to build. Whether you’re aiming for a new personal best or just trying to nail a basic move, sometimes the board just won’t cooperate. Instead of giving in to despair, here’s a guide to navigate those tricky moments and maybe even turn the tide in your favor.
The Two-Beer Rule
There’s an unspoken rule in skateboarding: two beers are the magic number. One beer is just a tease, but anything more than two can cloud your focus, hindering your ability to land that trick. So, crack open that second can, leave the rest in the shade, and get ready to celebrate with a cold one when you finally stick the landing. If you’re feeling especially bold, you can even shotgun those two beers to settle your nerves a little faster.
Seeking Divine Intervention
Sometimes, the skateboarding gods seem to be working against you. You might feel like you’re being punished for a little overconfidence. In these moments, it’s worth reaching out to a higher power. Ask them to turn your curse into a blessing. Even if you don’t believe in a higher power, who knows? It worked for P-Rod when he needed to land a $50,000 trick. If it doesn’t work for you, then maybe the trick isn’t meant to be.
The Unconventional Approach
When nothing else seems to work, consider this unusual technique. Find the nearest pile of dog poop (or, if you must, create your own) and place it strategically near your landing zone. While this tactic might cause some raised eyebrows (or even a complete avoidance of you from your skate crew), the best case scenario is you’ll end up in jail, not trying the trick. The important thing is to weigh the pros and cons, and consider keeping some laxatives handy, just in case.
Blame Game
When all else fails, it’s time to play the blame game. The weather is the usual go-to, but if it’s perfect, blame something else: a crack in the pavement, the traffic noise, or even that one sponsor-me DM that never got a “like.” You can even blame your friends for being too loud or not hyped enough. And if all else fails, blame the spot itself, even if you were the one who suggested it in the first place.
Self-Inflicted Motivation
For the masochists and thrill-seekers out there, a little self-inflicted pain might just be the thing to get you through. If you’re looking for the right technique, just look up the legend Kerry Getz doing it perfectly and try not to overdo it.
The Power of Positive Thinking
If you are more of an optimist, you might want to take a different approach and use positive affirmations. After each bail, try saying something like, “Okay, I got this!” or, “I’ll buy everyone drinks if I land it this try.” This can create a positive vibe for you and everyone watching. However, be careful not to overdo it because you don’t want to become that insufferable PMA guy.
The Dramatic Meltdown
Sometimes, a full-blown temper tantrum is what’s needed to unleash the inner skater. This might get you some great footage to use in your next video, but you might get some weird looks from the general public. Make sure you have a friend who rides a similar board because you might need to borrow theirs after you throw yours. If you break their board too, call it quits and go home.
The Nuclear Option
When all else fails, there’s one last resort: go nuclear. Call the cops or security on yourself. Be sure to disguise your voice and give a fake name. While it’s probably not the most dignified solution, it might just be the ticket to save your sanity and get you out of trying that impossible trick. Consider it the cost of preservation.
Trying to land a new trick can be a roller coaster of emotions, from excitement to pure frustration. So, next time you find yourself stuck in a trick battle, don’t give up. Try one of these methods and who knows, you might just land it.
Words by: Larry Lanza
Illustration by: Beef Bennet
Gifs: Justin Saltiel
