Life is all about variety, and just because you’ve reached a professional level in skateboarding doesn’t mean it’s the only path you’re meant to explore. As injuries and those pesky back taxes start shifting your focus away from landing tricks, it might be time to consider a new chapter. Feeling unsure about what’s next? We’re here to help with “The Jenkem Guide to Life After Skateboarding,” offering a few options to consider as you transition into new life paths.
There’s something for everyone, as our new character, Semen Sam, embarks on a journey to discover what could come next after skateboarding.
Reel in a New Passion: The Fisherman’s Life
If you love the outdoors, consider fishing. It shares similarities with skateboarding: standing around, discussing spots, and comparing gear. The day can be spent relaxing, filming attempts, and, who needs a heelflip when you could land a largemouth bass? Just like with skateboarding, fishing involves long waits, and sometimes you just go home empty-handed. It’s all about the process.
Hit the Road: Join a Motorcycle Gang
If you’re spending more time working on your bike than your board, maybe it’s time to fully commit to the motorcycle club. The transition should be smooth. You probably already live in your denim vest and haven’t trimmed your beard since the Thrasher DVD days. Plus, you can finally rock all those old sleeveless Indy graphic t-shirts that have been shelved for way too long. Embrace the open road and the brotherhood.
From Plywood to Woodwork: Become a Craftsman
What’s more fulfilling than having peers applaud your hard work at a skate video premiere? Apparently, it’s cutting wood and gluing it back together. Join the growing number of skate “legends” who have traded plywood for… more plywood. Has anyone taken old skateboards and created art with all those colorful layers? This sounds like an incredible idea, perfect for any ex-skater looking to get into woodworking.
Dive into Politics: The Alt-Right Conservative
If your skate-follower counts are dwindling, consider embracing the outrage of American right-wing politics. A few tweets about “stolen” elections and why you are more intelligent than experts will have you trending again. If someone as uncharismatic as Tim Pool can do it, so can you. This path could reignite your engagement on social media, but be warned, it’s a wild ride.
Embrace the Riffs: Become a Stoner Rock Guitarist
Better for your knees but worse for your hearing, consider taking your habits of sleeping in, smoking all day, and not washing your hair and turning it into a career. Convincing people to pay for your music might not be harder than convincing that weed sponsor that a free quarter a week wasn’t enough. It’s time to embrace the music and see where it takes you.
The Expert: Financial Advisor/Life Coach
Love the sound of your own voice? Think that poor people are lazy? Great news, you’re qualified to ruin your skate legacy as a condescending financial guru! It’s time to share your wisdom (or lack thereof) with the world. Start that podcast or Twitter thread and tell everyone how to manage their money.
Pump Iron: The Fitness Influencer
Take the focus that made you a decent skateboarder and apply it to working out at the gym. You can lift, pull, and squat while holding things. There’s more to it than just shaking big ropes and taking shirtless selfies in short shorts. You can also give nutritional advice, create YouTube videos about your breakfast, and maybe teach a Peloton class or two. It’s time to get your fitness on!
Create Art: The Fine Artist
How hard can it be? You’ve seen the graphics that skate brands call art these days, and the art in galleries isn’t much better. Just throw some bricks on the ground, pour some paint, write a statement with words like “verisimilitude” and “zeitgeist,” and you’ll be collaborating with RVCA in no time. If that doesn’t work out, you can always pivot to being a tattooer. It’s time to unleash your inner artist.
Life after skateboarding can be an exciting journey of new beginnings. Whether it’s fishing, woodworking, or any of these other options, there’s a path waiting for you. Take a chance, embrace the change, and discover what’s next.
Words by: Junk Pirate Pete
Illustrations by: Michael Giurato
