It’s a familiar scenario for many skaters: you’re finally about to land that trick you’ve been working on, and then, SKRRRRRRRRT! A security guard, fueled by frustration, arrives to shut down your session. You’ve probably tried everything: begging, pleading, or attempting to outmaneuver them. But often, you either leave feeling unsatisfied or defeated, with your board confiscated. Since most of us don’t have the resources for personal security, here are some unconventional strategies to deter those spot wardens and get the footage you’re after.
The “Final Wish” Ploy
When a guard approaches, explain that your friend or sibling is terminally ill or about to undergo a critical surgery. Their dying wish, you explain, was to skate this exact spot one last time with their friends. Is it immoral? Absolutely. Is it effective? You bet. This emotional appeal can sometimes sway even the most hardened security personnel.
The Fishing Line Distraction
People are often motivated by money. To exploit this, take a cue from classic cartoons and use an extra-long fishing line with a $20 bill attached. When security is approaching, cast the cash to lure them away. This can buy you valuable time for a few extra attempts or to pack up and move on to another spot. It’s all about creating a diversion!
The “Science Experiment” Excuse
Skateboarding can teach you a lot about physics. Explain that you’re demonstrating concepts like gravity or Newton’s First Law of Motion for your school’s science fair. This works best if you’re a high school student. An older skater making this claim might raise eyebrows and lead to more suspicion. However, younger skaters may have more luck in earning a bit more time before being told to leave.
The “Go Naked” Tactic
The naked body can be viewed as art or offensive, depending on who’s looking. When a security guard approaches, strip down to your bare minimum and smile. If they’re unfazed by your lack of clothing, try a few stretches, or better yet, some Chris Pontius-style tearaway pants. This is an extreme and risky tactic, but it can definitely catch the security off guard.
The “Religious Ceremony” Claim
In our current social climate, the last thing anyone wants is to offend or infringe on someone’s rights, particularly regarding religious practices. Use this to your advantage and claim that performing a particular trick is a religious ceremony for your people. This outrageous claim might just create enough confusion or hesitation to keep the security guard at bay for a little while.
The “Fake Permit” Gambit
This tactic, common among graffiti artists, can also work for skaters. Research what permits for public art look like in your area. Then, create a convincing fake in Photoshop. A security guard likely won’t know the specifics and might accept the phony permit.
The Hologram Diversion
This is an expensive and absurd option but could be effective! Create a hologram of yourself to distract security while you get your clip. Like the hologram ability in Halo, you can send your decoy to be “captured” while you grab one last try. Or, use a Tupac hologram for extra effect. What security guard wouldn’t want to meet Makaveli?
These are outlandish tactics, but they can be surprisingly effective when dealing with overly aggressive security personnel. Use them with caution, and always prioritize safety and respect. Remember, the goal is to get your footage, but it’s also important to be mindful of your surroundings and the people around you. Be creative, stay safe, and keep shredding!
