Lunch is a crucial part of any day, and at Jenkem HQ, it’s a communal experience. We share food, watch skate videos, and generally bond over our midday meal. However, our intern, Justin, always has strong opinions about our food choices. To give you a peek into our daily lunch debates, we tasked him with reviewing everyone’s meals.
An illustration of a group of people eating lunch together, showcasing the communal aspect of midday meals.
Alexis’s Leftovers
Alexis’s lunch is a mix of chicken, rice, plantains, and mac & cheese. It looks substantial, with the rice providing a base, the chicken offering protein, and the mac & cheese appealing to our comfort food cravings. The plantains add a touch of sweetness. While it looks like a well-rounded meal, the problem is that it’s leftovers.
Leftovers, in my opinion, are never as good as the original meal. They get tossed around in containers, the flavors mix, and they sit in the fridge absorbing other odors. Microwaving them for lunch results in uneven heating, ruining the textures and tastes. You can’t just reheat a complex meal; it requires different methods for each component to retain its qualities. The result is a sad, often soggy version of its former glory. It’s like stopping a great make out session halfway, you can’t save that magic for later!
A photo of Alexis’s lunch, featuring chicken, rice, plantains, and mac & cheese, highlighting the variety of components.
Thomas’s Jersey Mike’s Sub
Thomas, a West Coast skater, has committed a culinary crime by ordering Jersey Mike’s “Mike’s Way”. It feels wrong for someone so deeply into WKND to mess with this East Coast classic. He proudly showed off his sub, which felt like a tourist saying “gracias” at a Mexican restaurant.
His sandwich features rosemary parmesan bread, which is more about looks than flavor. The rosemary sprigs get stuck in your teeth rather than adding any real taste. He chose turkey and provolone, skipping tomatoes and adding a few sad strips of bacon. The bacon looks like it’s been sitting in a tub of its own fat for hours. Thomas’s aversion to tomatoes seems like a modern tragedy. They’re a mild vegetable, yet he probably finds them too “slimy,” which is just sad. It’s like a grown man asking for his crust to be cut off of his sandwich.
If you see someone at Poods Park with the Jersey Mike’s longboard or the Jersey Mike’s massage gun, give Thomas a shout out.
A close-up shot of Thomas’s Jersey Mike’s sub, focusing on the rosemary parmesan bread, turkey, provolone, and sad-looking bacon.
Wilson’s Classic American Lunch
Wilson, our new intern, has a classic American lunch: a lightly toasted chicken club, potato chips, and a vanilla Coke. It’s well-rounded with a main course, a snack, and a drink. I am almost disappointed by how well put together it is. Shouldn’t a college student be eating junk food for lunch?
The sandwich looks great with fresh avocado, juicy tomatoes, and a good layer of chicken. The lightly toasted bread adds texture and structure. When I started at Jenkem, I would eat a hash brown, egg, and cheese on a roll while riding my bike to work. Wilson is already more composed than I was.
He also got his meal with a bag, which is a subtle flex these days. Our deli charges ten cents for bags, so I usually skip it. This often results in me dropping my food, like when I scattered my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups after falling on my skateboard the other day. Wilson, though, is prepared and gets the bag.
A photo of Wilson’s lunch, showcasing the chicken club sandwich, potato chips, and vanilla Coke, emphasizing its classic American appeal.
Larry’s Home-Cooked Meal
Larry’s lunch seems like the best at first glance. It’s the only homemade meal, a grilled cheese with spinach and veggie bacon, though it looks slightly burnt. It’s something you might expect a socialist vegetarian from Bushwick to eat.
However, Larry did not play by the rules, unlike everyone else who showed their real daily lunch. He usually eats ramen noodles, so this quality meal seems suspicious. It feels like he’s trying to impress me, even with the dill pickle chips since I love Jason Dill and that’s a common Jewish flavor. The joke is on him though, because I hate chips. They’re too crispy and oily. Look at the grease on them! It will be all over his laptop all day.
The background of the photo is also dark, and the plate has mysterious crumbs and sludge. I think Larry’s lunch shows a person who’s more falling apart than any of the other lunches on display.
A slightly dark photo of Larry’s grilled cheese with spinach and veggie bacon, alongside dill pickle chips, highlighting its homemade quality but messy presentation.
Ian’s Healthy Choice
Ian, the head honcho, chose a healthy lunch: a salad with spinach, chicken, avocado, and chickpeas. While the balsamic vinaigrette is a questionable choice, the salad looks good.
Ian knows the importance of balance, so he pairs his salad with a Mint M&M Ice Cream Sandwich. He saw me eating one for breakfast and probably got jealous. He also has weird self-control. He only ate half of it and saved the rest for later. If you’re going to eat it anyway, you might as well just buy two.
Also, he made me get his lunch, which is fine because he pays for mine. However, when I left the office it was sunny and 92 degrees. By the time I came out of the deli fifteen minutes later it was raining buckets. I got soaked running back to the office and had to change my shirt. So here I am, writing this in a tie-dye shirt.
A shot of Ian’s salad with spinach, chicken, avocado, and chickpeas, along with a Mint M&M Ice Cream Sandwich, illustrating the mix of healthy and less healthy choices.
My Carb-Loaded Lunch
Looking back, my lunch was pretty repulsive. It was all carbs and dairy but describing it like that, it sounds delicious. In the moment, I thoroughly enjoyed it without regret. That’s the blessing of youth; I could consume thousands of calories without any second thoughts. I even went for a run without it feeling like I had a tray of mac and cheese sitting in my stomach.
I wasn’t expecting such a large serving of Mac n Cheese but I didn’t complain. I got a cream cheese roll because the pasta felt incomplete. I should have gotten a proper sandwich, but I was just looking for something small to go with the Mac.
I messed up here. I got cocky and dropped the ball. I want to blame someone else but I can’t. I ordered a bad lunch. Sometimes my taste buds fail me. Yes, I enjoyed it, but that was wrong. I’m sorry.
A photo of Justin’s lunch: a large serving of mac and cheese paired with a cream cheese roll, showcasing its heavy carb and dairy content.
In conclusion, our lunch choices are as diverse as our personalities. From Alexis’s reheated mix to Ian’s balanced meal, each lunch reflects something about the person who ordered it. Even my own, albeit questionable, carb-heavy meal reveals a side of me. It seems like no matter what we eat, there is always something to comment on.
Words by: Justin Saltiel
Illustration by: Wilson Lucas
Share this with a food blogger on Facebook
Report this as tasteless on Instagram and Twitter
