Skateparks are vibrant hubs of activity, attracting a diverse cast of characters. From seasoned pros to complete beginners, the mix of personalities and skill levels creates a unique atmosphere. If you’ve ever spent time at a skatepark, you’re likely to have encountered some of these recurring archetypes. Here’s a humorous look at seven types of people you’re bound to see at any skatepark.
The Shirtless Headphones Guy (aka The Goon)
This individual is easily identifiable by their lack of a shirt and ever-present headphones. They are the masters of obliviousness, seemingly lost in their own world while navigating the skatepark. Their music of choice is often questionable, but their focus is unwavering, even if their skating style is a bit chaotic. They usually sport Skullcandy or Dre Beats, adding to their unmistakable look.
The Benchwarmer
The benchwarmer’s skating routine is brief, consisting of a quick lap around the park before claiming a spot on a bench or ledge. They’re easy to spot as they’re usually smoking cigarettes or engrossed in their phone. Benchwarmers also often engage in less-than-admirable activities like spitting and defacing obstacles. They’re the ones who seem to have all the time in the world, yet spend it on the sidelines.
The Sketchball
This person is not there to skate. You’ll find them lurking around other people’s belongings, looking suspicious. They often add to the atmosphere by smoking something, and they make skaters feel a little uneasy. The sketchball is not to be trusted as they may make a run for it with your stuff. This type is always a risk at the park and is likely to get what’s coming to them, like the time Koston beat one up.
The Ramp Tramp
The Ramp Tramp usually falls into the 13-17 age range and comes in a variety of styles, from pre-teen to goth. This individual usually thinks they’re better than other girls, and can often be found hanging around the ramps. They are just part of the overall scene that makes a skatepark unique.
The S.K.A.T.E. Group
These are usually groups of kids between 13 and 18 years old. They can be seen exclusively playing the game of S.K.A.T.E., often at the bottom of a mini ramp or right next to an obstacle other skaters might want to use. They seem content with their game and never actually try out the rest of the park. They are usually picked up by their parents when they are done.
The Ramp Sliders (aka The Chucky Cheezes)
These are the little ones, aged 3-6, who see the skatepark as a giant playground. They are masters of chaos, often sliding down ramps, oblivious to the skaters around them. While undeniably cute, they may cause you to seriously reconsider having kids of your own. They are usually very close to a real playground, yet still choose the ramps.
The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid (aka The Twerp)
The scooter kid, aged 6-12, is a constant obstacle, always in your way. They are often seen attempting quadruple tailwhips and wearing helmets that are far too big for their heads. They are the classic skatepark antagonist, frequently embodying the essence of “annoying.”
Conclusion
Skateparks are full of a variety of personalities, each contributing to the lively and sometimes chaotic atmosphere. Whether you’re there to shred, socialize, or just observe, these are some of the characters you’re likely to encounter. These different types of people, from the Shirtless Headphones Guy to the Pre-Teen Scooter Kid, are what make every skatepark visit a unique experience. The next time you head to your local park, see how many of these archetypes you can spot.
